Big jobbies

Big jobbies need big flushes.

There's no point doing a half flush then leaving the remains for the next poor bugger to find. You need a big flush to make sure every last nugget is going all the way to Luggage Point.

Why do I mention this?

We had brand new toilets installed in our building at work a couple of weeks ago. They're dual flush cisterns and the bowls are steeper than the old ones so they're more efficient. Only 4.5 litres for a full flush and 3 litres for a half flush. All very environmentally friendly, showing that our employer cares about its obligations to the environment.

About two days after they were installed we had to get a plumber in urgently because one of them wasn't draining properly. It turns out that 4.5 litres (that's a gallon in the old money, or a gallon and a bit if you come from the land of alternative spelling).

...where was I? Oh yes, it turns out that 4.5 litres isn't quite enough to send last night's high fibre dinner to Luggage Point. It'll get it maybe to the first floor, then it gives up and backs up.

So, an e-mail was circulated to staff today informing us that next time you do a big jobbie, a number two, you build a log cabin, you take the kids to the pool, you sink a battle ship (these are all in the thesaurus, trust me), you must hold the button down when you flush so that enough water is behind that blind mullet to send it to where it can be recycled into drinking water. Not that I have a problem with drinking recycled water.

All that money spent on new cisterns and bowls, the half flush will never be used (at least not in the gents) because that's meant for number ones that generally get done in the urinal, unless you are shy or suffer the occasional bought of stage fright like me. The full flush is using just as much water as the old cisterns if we're having to hold the button down.

Oh well, at least we're being seen to do the right thing. I wonder what happened to the old toilets, probably became landfill.